Adults, English, Write Ups

Soul vs Heart…

-By Kalpana-

She sat with an inner silence speaking volumes with her. The
gentle sea seemed to play an orchestra with her silence as it
crashed against the rocks to recede slowly before swelling up
gently rolling spirally to kiss the rocks gently.
Carter Road at this time of the hour saw people slowly heading
home. She breathed in the empty vacuum created as people
began to leave, leaving behind an enriched predominant nature
element claiming its territory back. She lingered on. Listening to
the waves teasing the rocks with its gentle caresses before
playfully receding.
Suddenly, her eyes fell on a young couple. It was common. You
found them here, finding strategic points behind the rocks for
clandestine meetings. Young ones experimenting their stirrings
of youth. Some openly and some surreptitiously behind these
rocks.
She watched as the struggle ensued between the couple. The
boy demanding more physical interaction and the girl shrinking
at the roaming hand with an alarm of not wanting to go any
further. The playful coaxing of the boy soon began to turn
forceful. Even from far she could sense the boy’s immense fury
at being resisted.
Startled, she looked around to see if there were any witnesses
to the scene. Nobody seemed to have noticed as each was
focused on returning home to their routine. She turned back to
the scene wondering if, she should interfere, shout out to the
girl or just let the girl deal. She watched caught in the dilemma.
The boy, was trying to forcefully hold her hands that were
stopping him. The girl still fought back. And then suddenly, the
boy flicked her arms away, got up with a jerk, bend down and
said something to the girl. The girl shrank and he began to
manoeuvre his way on the rocks towards the promenade.

A relief surged over. She felt the tension leave her, and settled
with renewed vigour to the sounds of the sea.
That’s when the girl who had been sitting stunned and dejected,
after moments of deliberation extricated herself from the rocks
and hurried behind her boyfriend. There was an urgency and an
untold misery.. (she scowled as she began to decipher her
movements) ..laced in with fear..? She watched in disbelief as
she shouted the name of the boy pursuing him with a
desperation. Why..?what..? No…! She thought. Don’t! Don’t!
Don’t give in. Stay strong! Why compromise on your esteem?
She watched in disbelief and utter exasperation as the girl
weaved her way out of the rocks. Furtive, anxious steps.
Stumbling steps towards a pain filled destiny. As if, in clinging
to him, she could defy her past destiny. As if, this decision could
change the future of her destiny. That’s when the message the
girl was involuntarily emanating reached her.

The girl was terrified of rejection. Perhaps, she was rejected
aplenty, initially from the time of birth perhaps by her immediate
family. Reasons for rejection of a girl child are many. The first
being her gender itself, then perhaps she wasn’t as light
skinned as her siblings, or May be not as intelligent too. Or she
was an unwanted birth in her parents’ try for a son. But, she
had suffered continued rejection. Her, parched mind had pinned
all her hopes on a dream prince as an escape from the prison
of ‘unwanted’ to her freedom towards ‘wanted’.
‘It’s alright’ she mentally screamed at the desperate figure
seeking the refuge of unwanted advances in despair to remove
the taboo of rejection. But, she knew even if these words were
screamed aloud, it would have been ignored.

She silently witnessed a catastrophic decision. The struggle
between the heart of wanting and her soul’s warning; before the
girl followed her heart.

-By Kalpana-

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