Back to Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional outbursts can turn us into a volatile person. Lacklustre reaction to given situation portrays us as a numb person a cold and an emotionally dead person . Emotional Intelligence (EI); means understanding when, where and how to use the emotions that we experience in a given situation.
Today of course we are going to talk about Anger Management. If, not expressed it fosters into a volatile volcano and if, expressed without a bridle still spews hot lava.
Let me narrate an incident.
A typical morning at any household.
It’s 8.30 AM. The family – father, son and daughter have gathered at the breakfast table and the mother is busy serving food. The younger daughter is in a grouchy mood and keeps fiddling with the milk glass and the table mat. She ignores all the warnings from her mother and continues unheeding.
The inevitable happens. The milk spills on the table and the glass rolls down the table breaking into several fragments.
That’s not all. The milk spills over the work papers that the father had kept on the table soaking them through. The papers were to be presented at the 10 o’ clock meeting. Whack, there was a sound in the silent room. The father lost his cool. His anger mounted as he also realised that the milk had spilled on his clothes and he would have to change into fresh clothes. That meant a further delay and also he might be late at the meeting.
He turned around and shouted at his wife for not able to ensure that the children were well behaved at the table leaving her upset and irritated and she turned to vent her feelings at the child who she realised with dismay too had to be changed into fresh uniform before the school bus arrived.
A crying, howling child, and upset angry husband, a bewildered son, a hurt and angry wife (She sure was gearing up for a showdown with her husband in the evening) left them emotionally drained on a fresh new day.
How could the scenario be avoided?
The father could have calmly headed upstairs to change. He in the time being could also inform his colleague to carry the set of papers required for the meeting. Ensure that wife changes the kid into fresh uniform, and tells his child that they will be talking about her behaviour in the evening.
This is Controlling anger and staying calm in a given situation so that it doesn’t escalate into an upset, sad and disappointing day.
Anger has many shades and degrees. Anger, fury, irritation, frustration, exasperation, enragement, annoyance, wrath, rage, ferocity leading to unhealthy outbursts.
Anger is like red hot lava that rises and consumes you from within and goads you into doing something that is later regretted. Many a decisions are taken in fury. Only to rebound and put us in a situation far worse than had we taken a calm decision.
Steps to control Anger.
- Deep breathing. – Feel the anger simmering inside you. Take deep calm breaths to calm down the red hot rising of the anger.
- Counting till 10 – Take a deep breath and slowly begin counting till 10.
- Yoga – Yoga is long term solution for an angry person. Yoga helps you bring peace and calm from within and strengthens your mind leaving a you a calmer person.
- Divert your Mind – Hurt by someone we care for also makes us angry. It is better to diver t your mind rather than retaliate in the same fashion.
- Let it out – Another way to let out anger is working out, Exercise, cycle, gym Every emotion needs an outlet. So the bottled up emotions doesn’t lead to toxicity.
- Vent it out – Have a close friend with whom you can share your frustrations, hurt, insults and mull over solutions to tackle the situations.
- Create a let go ceremony – Call friends. Create a bonfire. Tell each to narrate situations that made them angry beyond repair. Ask them to write down the incidents, share it and them burn the paper and anger in the bonfire.
8.Last Tip – Stay away from situations and people that make you angry and frustrated. Avoidance is best. Just like precaution is better than cure. Know what makes you angry. Learn to tell the person before hand that his words are annoying you. Walk away if he /she still continues. But, tell the person why you are walking away.
And yes. Global Anger is on the rise. Stay away from instigation speech, political agendas, racists, religious fanatics. Do not let anything/anyone disturb the peace of your mind/ goad you into anger. There is no problem on this earth that can’t be calmly sorted.